for the last 12 or so years we have gone to the early service ... aka the children's service ... aka mass chaos centered on an elaborate children's pageant ... totally fun and funny and poignant and dear ... vast majority of church goers are under the age of seven .....but we skipped it this year ... yup ... we're growing up ... we went to the six o'clock service .... more adults than children .... the average age shoots up decades ..... we'll try something new .... if we don't like it .. back to the other next year ....
so we went .... and upon entering the church (our church, our very familiar church, our church home where we spend most , er, many sundays ..... we KNOW this place) .... and upon entering the church there was a giant basket full of candles ... candles with paper circles around them .... bigger than a birthday candle ... smaller than a dining room candle ... MOMMY! what are these candles for ..... and i told little.e.beck.artist .... those candles are for the end of the service ... we'll light the candles, someone will turn out the lights ... and we will sing silent night by candlelight and think about what it was like on that silent night when baby jesus was born ... when maybe the only light for mary and joseph was the stars in the sky ..... ok ... i didn't get it all spit out then ... but i did get it all out eventually ... when we RAN home to change her skirt that had ripped apart and was falling down (more on that later) .... so .... let's pick up a candle ... no, you don't have to get one for daddy, grandma, grandaddy, your brother or sister ... they'll all get their own if they want one .. yes, they'll know they can have one too .... you just know .... everyone just knows that they can have a candle ... that's why there's a big basket of them ... just the possibility of being allowed to hold a candle THAT WAS GOING TO BE LIT was just more than she could take in .... i get to hold my own canlde? lit? she then spent the next hour (plus) living for the possibility of the joy and magic of holding her own candle with a white circular wax catching piece of cardboard ... oh the joy!
so there we were ... clutching candles .... found a row .... saved it for our whole entourage .....little.e.beck.artist sat in the row in front of me with her best pal .... all our people came and sat with us ... they all had just known to pick up a candle .... and little e.beck.artist held her candle .... it's hard to juggle a hymnal, a program, and a candle, but little.e.beck.artist was working it ... she nearly lost her hymnal a couple times .... better to sacrifice the hymnal that is always there than the candle that seems so particularly special ....
everyone else set aside the candle .... not my little one ... she held that candle .... for a long time .... then it was time to go up to communion ... she carefully put down the candle in her seat .... and walked up the aisle .... the folks at the front of the church, as they returned from communion , were getting their candles lit ... little.e.beck.artist saw all those lit candles and tried to SPRINT back to her candle ... no, mom, we have to have our candle now ... they're getting lit up in the front ... no honey, after you come back to your seat, that acolyte will light the person on the end's candle ... and then all the way down the line everyone lights each other's candles ...
little.e.beck.artist looked at me ... looked at all those lit candles at the front of the church ... and said, no, mommy, i don't think that's right ..... honey, please trust me ... i promise to make sure that your candle gets lit no matter what ... no matter who is right .... ok ... you'll get to sing silent night with your own candle no matter what ....
we went to communion .... we came back ... little.e.beck.artist got her candle and came back a row to sit with us .... the acolyte, our pal william, lit the first candle on our row .... and we all passed the light down the row..... we held those lit candles while the people behind us went up for communion .... we discussed the wax being hot ... we discussed not setting your sleeve on fire ... or someone else's sleeve .... or the hair of the person in front of you ... the people in the row in front of us had their candle tips go flat before our pointy tips had burned down .... how long would it take to burn the whole candle down ... are they people in the front row going to get in trouble with just a little stump of candle by the time we finally sing .... do we have to blow them out after silent night? ..(have i ever mentioned that i'm not very good at being quiet, even in church? ... or especially in church?) ..... and then the music stopped ... and the lights went out ... hey, why are the lights up there still on? um... maybe because the organist needs to see? and then those lights went out ... and it was really dark ...except for the candle light ..... and we noticed the front stain glass window was reflecting color on the ceiling ... and we wished we were sitting in the balcony so that we could see the candles that might seem like star light on a bethlehem night long ago ....
and we sang silent night .... and little.e.beck.artist only knew the first verse ... so she sang it again when we had moved on to another .... all the while clutching her little candle with the wax cather ... she didn't catch her sleeve on fire ... or anything on fire for that matter ..... but she was in the moment .... she had found her piece of christmas magic for the evening .... she was a tiny pinprick of starlight .....
so ... maybe even if you aren't a christmas-go-to-church type there's something to be learned from my little girl .... find something good ... something new ... something exciting ... something wondrous ... and hold on tight .... don't let go ... don't put it down ... and then be patient ... and believe in the magic of possibilities ......
.... so .... i had this whole notion for this sweet story about my little one ... and how things really are different through the eyes of a child ... and how we all need to hold on to that even as we become old and less magic aware ..... but ... i have a bit to the story that is an entirely different tone ... it didn't fit .... so i'll stick it here at the end .... after we got our seats ... and our group all had seated .... we decided to up and go to the bathroom before the service began .... she was wearing a kilt .... and tights ... and looked lovely ... normal (my prejudice here) girls pick up there skirt, pull down their tights to go to the bathroom ... my kid pulls down her skirt and tights .... she is STICK thin ... no hips no butt thin .... if she doesn't have a fitted waist line on her skirt or pants they will fall to the floor .... so ... kilt ... authentic .... funky buckley closures to hold it up .... not her usual elastic .... pulled that skirt down and the leather belt bits disattached entirely ... both of them ... um ... mommy? i think i have a problem ... just a minute, i'll help you when i get out ..... oh .... you ripped this buckle off ... oh ... you ripped them BOTH off .... note to self, teach her correct bathroom/skirt procedures ..... we used the santa pin to rig the skirt ... we went to church to get the house key from mr.e.beck.artist ...... and we RAN home ... literally ran ..... she clutching her skirt up cause one half was waving around unattached to anything .... luckily, i live close to church ... running distance, actually ... we ran in .... got another kilt .... such good fortune! a hand me down kilt, a vintage kilt and a a new gift kilt to choose from ... well... the hand me down kilt has bit the dust, she gets the next smallest one (that's how she originally chose from the three .... and we get it on ... and we run back to church ... and all we've missed is the first hymn ..... no, you don't need to get another candle, even though that basket of them is so tempting .... so there you go ... i tell the sweetness and light part of the story first ... but i couldn't leave out the most real bit ... the messy bit ... the i-was-sweating-on-christmas-eve-bit because i had to run home and rekilt my kid .... so which part will we remember in ten years? the candle joy or the kilty wardrobe malfunction? i'm thinking we'll have candle joy for years to come ... but next year, she's wearing pants ....
merry christmas ... or if you don't celebrate christmas, magical joys to you ..... because to me christmas is about the magical joys .....
it is now christmas eve midnight ... perhaps i'll edit this tomorrow .. or the next day!!
5 comments:
merry christmas e & family! beautiful story and i'm still tearing from it even after the toilet ripped kilt story.
i can't wait to figure out which part of our crazy christmas to blog...it involves candles like above, refused homemade lasagna by rude kids, sevearl declarations of i hate church, and one pyromaniac...or possibly, two, one slippery dress on a wiggly toddler and lots of lovely singing peppered with chasing my family back into the sanctuary while in the choir...and a 5:45am visit from an overexcited kid.
I actually thought of all of you last evening when we were lighting candles from one another and singing silent night in Church....and also thought of all the other folks in the world doing the same thing at a about the same mmoment. And thought of the accidental lighting of hair/sleeve/ etc that might occur. the minister actually said that parents were responsible for their kids lit candles! That is a part of christmas I love best.....
Please don't edit this, it's perfect!
Now that is a wonderful Christmas story! I'm thinking you go back to the Candle Lite service next year! Our church does not have a candle light service. Knowing this, my youngest took her own candle - and yes she did light it during the last song, which sadly was not Silent NIght. We went with the theory "better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission!"
Blessings to you and all the eBeck artists no matter the size!
LOL No editing. I love reliving things through your eyes, word for word. We have the same type service at our church and we go every year. This year was no different. Despite a blizzard, too tight clothes on a growing child (discovered this at the last minute) and being slightly late, we made it, the child sang up front with her choir (dim light and you don't notice her clothes are snug) and the evening was beautiful as always. Merry Christmas.
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