mom died dec 23rd 2025
for several weeks prior to that my world was different, slower, harder, colder
i read lots of books once my mom was bed bound and dying
sometimes i'd read to her
sometimes i'd listen to a book on headphones and just hold her hand for hours
my 2025 book list was never completed
my 2026 book list is inaccurate because as i start this in mid february, i'm going to write down the books i remember reading and not logging, though i'm not certain when i read them exactly. here's to having a smoother ride eventually. i'm still sad a lot. i'm surprised by how hard it has been. which seems a dumb thing to be surprised about. of course i'm still sad.
2026 book list that will start inaccurately:
1. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel
2. Valley of the Horses by Jean Auel
3. The Mammoth Hunters by Jean Auel
4. Plains of Passage by Jean Auel ..... My mom started reading Jean Auel in 1980 and I read each book after her. I believe my brother, David, also read each of them after us. So Clan of the Cave Bear, book 1, is what I read aloud to her at the beginning of her ending. And then I switched to audio books. I have all six book on Audible from eons ago, and I have listened to all of them multiple times, even though they decrease in goodness after the first three. The last one is really not so great. The two main characters that I love aren't very lovable in that last one. So, I started reading book 1 to mom in December, and last night I finished listening to Plains of Passage. I'll continue the next two books, I think, as my bed time listening, putting the timer to end of chapter or 15 minutes, depending on how tired I am. I frequently wake up and don't want to get out of bed, so i relisten to the last couple minutes to make sure I didn't sleep through anything important. I've read them so many times, that it usually doesn't matter if I snooze through a bit.
5. Terra Incognita: Travels in Antarctica by Sara Wheeler. Well. This one I know I read last year while I was in Antarctica ... on an airplane on my way actually. Fun to read it in situ. I know I didn't add it to last year's list.
6. Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
7. Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros
8. Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros ... I like this series and I"m trying to make myself feel better. I think rereading or relistening to favorite books is like comfort food. I might be holding my breath til the next one comes out
9. If Tomorrow Never Comes by Allison Ashley .... a romance with a cancer twist. Easy read.
10. Theo of Golden: a Novel by Levi Allen. For January tennis book club. I think another book club is reading it too.
13. Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins. same as above. rereading because i've read the other Hunger Games books loads of times and it felt like a reread of this would be comforting. Which is weird, cause it is a pretty horrific book ... but a great add to the series.
14. Flesh by David Szalay. I read about this one on a list of Booker Award 2025 nominees .... and it sounded interesting .... all the descriptions talked about how surprising it was..... well. I read it. and GOSH it was surprising. Way too much flesh for me. haha. And then it got picked for my Wedn book club for February. Eek. They are not going to like it. I have found myself sticking up for it among my girlfriends. If you come at it from a place of acknowledging his trauma, it is easier to be sympathetic to the character that is not that likable.
15. Artemis by Andy Weir.... a reread because I wanted some sci fi and I like the main character, probably because she's a woman.
16. The Rush by Beth Lewis ... tennis book club for Feb. .... Western crime novel
17. The Hitch by Sarah Levine .... listened to it on a road trip with Jody .... because it was a selection in Roxanne Gay's online reading club. A little boy is POSSESSED by a Corgi that died. OMG what an awesome, oddball premise. Very Funny. I loved it.
18. The People We Keep by Allison Larkin .... for February INK book club at my house .... I loved it. Reminiscent of Daisy Jones and the Six with a musician main character. Also similar to the Odyssey. haha.
19. The Shelters of Stone by Jean Auel (book 5)
20. The Land of Painted Caves by Jean Auel (book 6)
21.The People We Keep by .... Hosted a Tuesday book club and my other Thursday book club one week after the next for this book. I picked it. I loved it. Reminiscent of Daisy and the Six. Coming of Age novel.
22. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir ... a reread for me for a Th. book club @AF's house. She made desserts that looked like Rocky! haha. Perfect to reread before the movie comes out.
23. Ecology of a Cracker Childhood by ..... this is a reread for me. I read it right when it came out. Excellent non fiction book for the ecology minded. For Wednesday book club in March
24. Raising Hare. I remember when this book came out during the end of pandemic time, I think. I read some excellent reviews of it and put it on a TBR list but never got it from the library or bought it ..... i checked.... it's crept farther and farther down on my list for no other reason than when I found it I was in a READ THE BOOKS YOU ALREADY OWN phase. haha. I felt fortunate that it is a Tuesday book club pick at JH's house. I finally got to read it. EXCELLENT. It is non fiction/memoir and I'd call it an environmental book.
25. The Names by Florence Knapp ... tennis Th book clubs MP's ... interesting premise with three different timelines for a family. Very creative. Complex character development.
26. Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell...... a reread ... though I couldn't find a spot where I said I'd read it. I was talking about it with a friend and decided I needed to do a reread. Historical fiction about Shakespeare's son dying. Focus on grief. I loved Agnes. Beautifully written.
27. The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl. (cause I adore Paris and am Duolingoing French so I can go back and sound tres intelligente ! I loved the food, I loved the sorting out of the MC's past/parentage, I loved that it is set in the 80s when i studied there during college, i love that stella rhymes with cinderella and the old man is the fairy godmother with gowns and all, loved the art history twist with Manet and his model Victorine. Perfect book for me.
28. I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman. WOW i loved this. I'm not sure how I heard about it but I have now recommended it to all 4 book clubs, so maybe someone will pick it! It is a very spare post apocalyptic story. I am not going to tell you anything about it cause it would give away all the things. I feel like I shouldn't even say it is post apocalyptic because you really don't know that when you are start reading. FANTASTIC. one of my favorites lately.
29. North Woods by Daniel Mason ... beautiful book about a house in the woods and the people who lived in it over centuries.... julia recommended to me as on of her faves
30. The Last List of Mabel Beaumont ... very sweet book of mabel following a list her husband left. Find D..... and she does.... and it's good that she did.
31. Miracle Creek by Angie Kim ... excellent court room drama ... a mystery really, told through the court.... lots of secrets being kept.
32. Tethered by Elayna Gallea ... arranged marriage fantasy..... liked it.
33. Hello Molly by Molly Shannon ... (3rd th book club at M's) non fiction/memoir by the actor/comedienne....
34. Convenient Store Woman by Sayaka Murata is a Wednesday book club pick at JK's house.... great book. interesting notion of societal pressure and pushing against it.
35. The Improbability of Love by Hannah Rothchild... cool book.... the pivotal piece of art has a voice in the book.... it's mystery and romance and art history. pretty perfect for me.
36. The Keeper of Happy Endings by Barbara Davis .... Tennis book club at KC's .... historical fiction with some magical realism thrown in ..... I think I'm totally a magical realism sort.... for the extra dash of exciting. Also a dual timeline/then and now/ intertwined story ....
37. When the Cranes Fly South by Lisa Ridden (w book club at MM's) ..... the grief and aging of it was hard for me to read. Bo was the main character, who I liked. I didn't love his son. I probably wasn't supposed to ... they were trying to fix a broken relationship ... which is harder . Translated from Swedish ( I think)
38. After You by Jojo Moyes..... second book in series after Will dies..... good book about grappling with grief ..... had other stuff to, but the grief part rang true for me.
39. The Widow Clicqot by Tilar Mazzeo ... tennis book club at TP's house ... Veuve means widow.... interesting historical fiction and biography ....
40. Fourth Wing
41. Iron Flame
42. Onyx Storm .... all three by Rebecca Yarros .... all three re reads cause I'm grumpy and these feel like comfort food. I liked them the first time I read them so even now in a bad mood I'm liking them .... and I'm having trouble reading and liking new to me books.
43. Her Name was Rose by Claire Allen..... pretty messed up woman! psychological thriller with turns i did not expect!
44,45, 46, 47,48,49.... I read six of seven Harry Potter books. Comfort reads. I did not read the last one. Well, I started it but didn't get very far when I decided to quit wallowing and get back to books I have on various list that I want/should read.
50. Isola by Allegra Goodman (tues book club at DR's in June) .... historical fiction about persevering woman....
51. The Girl with the Make Believe Husband by Julia Quinn. a reread. Not JQ's best ... but perfectly pleasant and definitely a comfort food read.
52. Behind the Wheel, French 1. Audiobook ... cause I'm trying all the things to up my French speaking ability.
52. The Director by Daniel Kehlman (w book club at SB's) translated from german.... a filmmaker.... an artist's life in Hitler's era ... what fascism does to free thought... i think he was complicit. he would argue he wasn't. A Booker Prize winner. A smart book.
53 Undead Ultra Book 1
54 Undead Ultra Book 2 Dorm Life
55 Undead Ultra Book 3 Lost Coast
56 Undead Ultra Book 4 Fort Dead ... .all by Camille Picott.... clearly I liked them. I read them all. I'm a post apocalyptic fan. If you are, you'll like these. If you aren't, you'll think they are gross. I'm thinking clever.
57 The Artist and the Feast by Lucy Steeds ... (for W book club in august @F's)... great book.. historical fiction in France.
58... I read Theo of Golden again for 2nd TH book club....
59. Pool House by Mary Choi ... dysfunctional mother daughter relationship.... and grief ....
60. The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong
61. On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
62. Night Sky with Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong..... did the OV trifecta of books because a thursday book club was reading emperor of gladness for BC at my house. Beautiful poet.
63. Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman.... Julia laughed out loud when I told her CR was making my W BC read it..... we old ladies are not the target audience. i LOVED it.... not everyone did..... i thought it was clever and funny and crazy creative .... and i'm all for so post apocalyptic mayhem.
64. Small Gods by Terry Pratchett.... a standalone from the disc world series.... I"m writing about gods and goddesses in my novel and was interested in this depiction of gods being only as powerful as the number of true believers they have. The god Om is a tortoise with one believer. so sad. haha.
REREADS
65. Fourth Wing
66. Onyx Storm
67. Iron Flame ... all by Rebecca Yarros cause she has a new book coming out about the dragon thrashings..... AND .... my insta algorithm is ONLY dragons and pottery right now.
68. Maybe You Should Talk to Somebody.... by Lori Gottlieb. Great rec for me by someone K who knows that the novel i'm working on has a therapist theme through it.
69.Big Swiss by Jen Beagin... a mental health book.... funny/weird therapy story
70. Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut .... 1962 ... I think I read it 30 or 40 years ago... I think I"ve read all his books .... but I saw it referenced in some article about something else and wanted to revisit. not my fave KV but a smart book.
71. The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett. Long and winding southern historical fiction .... orphans and hookers. great combo. fun book club book
72. For Human Use by Sarah G. Pierce ... bizarro world! dark satire .... dating app gone bad.
73. Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. I like this kind of mind bender book.... Ursula's life is on a loop.... reincarnation? fate?
74. Beach Read by Emily Henry about two writers.... rom com ish with some grief and loss....
These are out of order. I need to remind my method of NOT waiting four months to write down what I've read. ( I thought I was done and remembered I listened to a bunch on spotify.)
75. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. Super popular about a trad wife instagramer .... satirical.... great discussion at T BC at AF's house.
76. Whistler by Ann Patchett. great story about family found/family lost, family stories, memory, aging.
77. The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston ... i LOVED this book.... found family, second chances.... quirky plot. loved it.
78 . Harry's Trees by Jon Cohen. I loved this. BC at JP's. I loved it so much that I talked everyone else into thinking it was spectacular.... super quirky premise as a way of looking at grief. with a happy ending.
79. Conform by Ariel Sullivan... dystopian that Liesel rec'd .... I'll be reading the next two.
80. Life, and Death, and Giants by Ron Rondo .... because AP told me to read it... about an 18 pound baby boy who grows to be a giant ... how one person can change everyone
about to read
Threshing Day by Rebecca Yarros
One Second After by William Forstchen
Beneath (Book2) byAriel Sullivan
The Healing Hippo of Hinode Park by Michiko Aroma
The Explorers Guide by Jon Baird and Kevin Costner
W in DEC @ EB's, Last Christmas in Paris by Hazel Gaynor and Alex Wyndham (have in audio)... epistolary... yay.
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